As I said yesterday, my monthly obsession is slowly starting to rise again, and I can feel the desire for me to get back into CS. But, I can't seem to find where to start...
I stopped learning CS about a month and a half ago, maybe two months, so safe to say I got pretty disconnected from it for a while. The thing is I don't really want to get back into HTB again, because it gets boring to stare at walls of texts after a certain time. I bought this huge networking book to help me alongside my journey, but I still feel kind of lost.

I think the issue is that I don't really know where I want to go with this. I'm learning it as a passion because i want to end up on lost forums and incredibly niche communities, but that's actually my only reason.
I don't see it as a future job for me. I don't see it as something I could even remotely need in my job later. So I struggle to find the motivation to deep dive again.

I used to just get on HTB, try to capture the flags of a random box, note down my progress, and everytime I came across a roadblock, I'd look at why, and then learn the missing piece. Except if I have to be honest, It does feel like the bridge that gets you from knowing nothing to understanding the internet, is unending. I need help finding the motivation I guess, finding the reason to get back into it.

It's funny because, I know I want to reach this level of understanding. Being able to point out exactly what goes on when I browse or use online services, but I have 0 reasons to do so. I could potentially just open that big book I found, and as I go just learn everything, but this thing literally has 1000 pages, and I planned to use it more as a support rather than as my actual roadmap. I guess what I need is an actual roadmap yeah...

If anyone out there is reading this and could help me out by giving me a roadmap to... a roadmap to god knows what actually I don't even know what my goal is...

I'm genuinely learning CS because it's cool and I like the overall vibe of the thing... I want to be immersed by it I guess that's what my goal is.

I guess I also feel somewhat alone in my journey... It's true that CS and overall networking is a pretty nerdy niche, but I still feel like I got no one else to pursue that niche with and that's kind of annoying. Yk when you got someone going like 'Hey man you heard about that new CVE??' or 'Let's do this CTF together let's give it a shot'. It just helps you to keep the motivation overall... Someone to learn alongside you basically. I know I can find communities on discord, but the ones I found so far already knew what they were doing, I don't, or at least barely, I've barely scraped the surface and I already have over 30 complete pages of notes on networking, linux, computers, and so on... I want to grow alongside someone.

TL;DR I don't know where to pick up my CS journey, I don't know where to go and I don't have a goal but really want to learn all about it. Please help thanks love you